Happiness is not a rare element!

Dealing with mean/hateful people has always been the greatest challenge for me. It makes you question your own ideas and life. To the extent that you start hating yourself. You start believing everything that such people have to say to you. You start thinking on the lines of "what did I do that is making these people say such things about me".

When I started talking to other people, I realised that almost everybody I knew is "blessed" with such kind of people. It could be a family member or friend or Boss or colleague. And there is one thing common in all these mean people, lack of satisfaction in their own lives. There is something so hugely lacking in their own life and instead of working towards it, these people think it is better to make sure nobody else got it. When I cannot be happy, why let others be happy! Not many people take failure or loss gracefully and end up being very negative and spread this negativity in the lives of all the people that surround them. It's really sad especially when you yourself are dealing with failures and trying to be as positive as possible rather than being the monster that such people are.

So there are two things that we need to focus on:
1) How not to get affected by such people
2) How not to become one of them

How not to get affected by such people:
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Someone very close to me once told me "Some people just cant find positive in anything no matter what". I found this very helpful to change my perspective. No matter what I do or say, these people will always find something negative. So it's not my take if they are upset over something because when I can choose to be positive and move ahead in life, it's their problem if they choose to be all sulky about it. Once I realised that it was not my fault (phew!) I decided to simply ignore. I decided not to give power to the people who can hurt me. Not to give importance to their words or opinions as they would just bring me down. It's extremely difficult to do this because generally these people are very close to you and you always thought their opinion matters. But it does not! If someone tells me that I am vicious and pretentious , then I don't think they are in their right mind because I am anything but that. Physical distance would be the best option , but considering you are stuck with such people for lifetime, learn to cut them off from your mind. Again, EXTREMELY difficult, but best solution.

How not to become one of them:
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Negative energy is very strong and can easily engulf you. It wont be long before you start sulking about things. Always keep a check on yourself " Am I becoming the person I dont want to be with". It's necessary to consciously keep yourself surrounded with people with positive mindsets and absorb their energy. Secondly, let go! My mind loves to rewind and play all the mean things that people have ever told me. Then it makes me conclude that I am indeed all those opinions. Next thing I know, I dont feel like getting off my bed. And I start looking for bad things in other people just to justify that others are more terrible than I am. Its a cycle in which you can get stuck forever. The only way to break this is to let go. Forgive and forget or you will always be revengeful and sour.



Last but not the least, have faith in God and be kind to one another! (sounds all preachy huh?)
Well, fact is fact!
Happiness is not a rare element, its found in abundance in people who choose to experience it and spread it :)

- Shveta

How private finance can tumble your world like a stack of cards !

I am no finance expert and I don't know how stock market works. I hardly know any big finance words and I rarely read business news. But I do know how taking finance from a private source almost ruined my friend's life and took the life out of many others.
First, let me explain what the term "private finance" means.
If you want to borrow some money for personal/business use, ideally you would approach the bank (considering low interest rates and security). The bank asks you to provide security in the form of a property/gold/any asset that you possess which can also be the stock/goods in case of a business. Now there can be two issues :
1) You *desire* to get a loan of say about Rs.1 Crore and the bank sanctions only say about Rs.50 lakhs after evaluating the security you provided.
2) Bank process is taking too much time and you *think* you cannot wait any more.
Any of the above two happens and then starts the panic mode. The mode which shuts down your ability to evaluate the situation with a straight mindset.
If you are lucky enough, you will find a relative/friend who is ready to loan you the required amount with minimum/no interest and without any security. (Voila! Your wildest dream comes true)
But considering the fact that we are not related to the likes of Ambani :) we are now in panic mode because we have already made huge commitments without any money at hand.
Now comes in the villain - The private financier !
He has been waiting for this opportunity when all doors will close for you and you *believe* that you are a loser.
You would never think of approaching him but he is right there and you would never realize how you ended up at his door. He walks in with his confident gait, making you believe that he knows the trade in and out and you are just another client. While secretly, he is hoping that you will fall for this and he can make his living out of you.
Private financiers have lot of money. So you would assume that its his business and just like banks finance, he finances privately. But you do not know that they are like the Dementors in Harry Potter movies. They will suck out every penny and make you so helpless that you will fear for your life.
Why I hate private financiers?
They will also take a security like a property/gold. They will transfer the property to their name and take possession of the gold. They will charge you with interest rates that are exorbitantly high (I know of cases where they charged interest rate which was 6 times that of the bank). They will make you believe that they are doing a huge favour on you. They will tell you they want the principle back in 2-3 months, hence you would feel that you have to bear the high interest rate only for a couple of months.

What you need to see through -
1) If the bank is not giving you more than Rs.50 lakh and if your relative is not Ambani, you need to understand that you need to work with Rs.50 lakh only. No matter what your plans are , no matter what you want to do with the money, you need to stick to this amount and have patience. If you want to grow your business, use this money and create your own capital. If you need it for a marriage, realize that short term glory is of no use if its going to cause long term pain.

2) The private financier is never looking for the principal amount. He wants you to never return it back. He wants you to pay interest as long as you can. And in turn he will make you feel obliged. With the kind of interest amount you are paying, he will have covered his principal amount in no time and then when you finally give up and refuse to pay interest, he will gobble up your security!

3) Private financiers do not appreciate paper work :) So basically even if you want to approach a court, all you have got is a paper which says that you have registered the property on his name and he has paid you the amount. There will be no mention that you are paying interest for that amount and that you intend to take back the property.

I have personally seen so many people fall for this. Its sad to see people who were once charged in life and wanted to make it large are now either struggling to survive or caught in the pangs of depression.

Its just mind boggling how the timing and situation can numb out your capacity to think through.But everyone of us needs to know about this and be aware!

PS : I might have missed out a lot of points and areas of concern. I cant stress on this point enough but I hope you guys are getting the gist of it.
Private Finance = NO NO NO !!

Back with a bang !

It's that time of the year, every year,
I get an urge to write and my mind is clear.
I wonder if this is just a silly coincidence,
or is February the month my blog takes precedence?

I read through the old ones and a story emerges,
my life seems dramatic full of verses.
I dont have to ponder on what to write,
It's like recording my life byte by byte.

I feel a difference this time this year,
Like I have found something which is very dear!
My head feels light and my heart feels pumpy,
Looks like I found her, the girl who was quirky !

I feel motivated, positive and get the gist,
Happiness and problems can co-exist.
The joy is surreal and very divine,
O' devil mind don't snatch away what's mine !