Dealing with mean/hateful people has always been the greatest challenge for me. It makes you question your own ideas and life. To the extent that you start hating yourself. You start believing everything that such people have to say to you. You start thinking on the lines of "what did I do that is making these people say such things about me".
When I started talking to other people, I realised that almost everybody I knew is "blessed" with such kind of people. It could be a family member or friend or Boss or colleague. And there is one thing common in all these mean people, lack of satisfaction in their own lives. There is something so hugely lacking in their own life and instead of working towards it, these people think it is better to make sure nobody else got it. When I cannot be happy, why let others be happy! Not many people take failure or loss gracefully and end up being very negative and spread this negativity in the lives of all the people that surround them. It's really sad especially when you yourself are dealing with failures and trying to be as positive as possible rather than being the monster that such people are.
So there are two things that we need to focus on:
1) How not to get affected by such people
2) How not to become one of them
How not to get affected by such people:
*************************************
Someone very close to me once told me "Some people just cant find positive in anything no matter what". I found this very helpful to change my perspective. No matter what I do or say, these people will always find something negative. So it's not my take if they are upset over something because when I can choose to be positive and move ahead in life, it's their problem if they choose to be all sulky about it. Once I realised that it was not my fault (phew!) I decided to simply ignore. I decided not to give power to the people who can hurt me. Not to give importance to their words or opinions as they would just bring me down. It's extremely difficult to do this because generally these people are very close to you and you always thought their opinion matters. But it does not! If someone tells me that I am vicious and pretentious , then I don't think they are in their right mind because I am anything but that. Physical distance would be the best option , but considering you are stuck with such people for lifetime, learn to cut them off from your mind. Again, EXTREMELY difficult, but best solution.
How not to become one of them:
**************************************
Negative energy is very strong and can easily engulf you. It wont be long before you start sulking about things. Always keep a check on yourself " Am I becoming the person I dont want to be with". It's necessary to consciously keep yourself surrounded with people with positive mindsets and absorb their energy. Secondly, let go! My mind loves to rewind and play all the mean things that people have ever told me. Then it makes me conclude that I am indeed all those opinions. Next thing I know, I dont feel like getting off my bed. And I start looking for bad things in other people just to justify that others are more terrible than I am. Its a cycle in which you can get stuck forever. The only way to break this is to let go. Forgive and forget or you will always be revengeful and sour.
Last but not the least, have faith in God and be kind to one another! (sounds all preachy huh?)
Well, fact is fact!
Happiness is not a rare element, its found in abundance in people who choose to experience it and spread it :)
- Shveta
So there are two things that we need to focus on:
1) How not to get affected by such people
2) How not to become one of them
How not to get affected by such people:
*************************************
Someone very close to me once told me "Some people just cant find positive in anything no matter what". I found this very helpful to change my perspective. No matter what I do or say, these people will always find something negative. So it's not my take if they are upset over something because when I can choose to be positive and move ahead in life, it's their problem if they choose to be all sulky about it. Once I realised that it was not my fault (phew!) I decided to simply ignore. I decided not to give power to the people who can hurt me. Not to give importance to their words or opinions as they would just bring me down. It's extremely difficult to do this because generally these people are very close to you and you always thought their opinion matters. But it does not! If someone tells me that I am vicious and pretentious , then I don't think they are in their right mind because I am anything but that. Physical distance would be the best option , but considering you are stuck with such people for lifetime, learn to cut them off from your mind. Again, EXTREMELY difficult, but best solution.
How not to become one of them:
**************************************
Negative energy is very strong and can easily engulf you. It wont be long before you start sulking about things. Always keep a check on yourself " Am I becoming the person I dont want to be with". It's necessary to consciously keep yourself surrounded with people with positive mindsets and absorb their energy. Secondly, let go! My mind loves to rewind and play all the mean things that people have ever told me. Then it makes me conclude that I am indeed all those opinions. Next thing I know, I dont feel like getting off my bed. And I start looking for bad things in other people just to justify that others are more terrible than I am. Its a cycle in which you can get stuck forever. The only way to break this is to let go. Forgive and forget or you will always be revengeful and sour.
Last but not the least, have faith in God and be kind to one another! (sounds all preachy huh?)
Well, fact is fact!
Happiness is not a rare element, its found in abundance in people who choose to experience it and spread it :)
- Shveta
