Trying hard to "live" !

It's good to feel that every moment of your life is precious. That every moment should be lived in the best of possible ways. But isn't it just too much pressure ?!
You feel like you should be doing something every moment. Read a book or may be watch a movie or study some books or go play !! It's bugging when you are not able to enjoy the idle time just doing nothing and lazing around since you start to feel that you are just doing "nothing".
I try to remember what I used to do as a kid. I had exams to prepare for and loads of friends to hang out with and when I had nothing to do I would just sit and laze around. Stare at the ceiling lost in some crazy thought.
Today also I have some deadlines I have to meet and some social functions am supposed to attend. But life feels very incomplete. The need to be doing more and making life more enriching occupies my mind all the time. I guess I just need to let go of it. But not as easy as it sounds.
It's not like I am not doing anything about it. But as adults its just very difficult to satisfy this need and be contended :P
Well may be I should just let go of this whole concept and do what i gotta do!

No where to go . . . .

There have been so many moments in my life where I feel like my legs have been tied to some heavy weights and I am thrown into the storms of the ocean ..trying my level best to escape .. to survive .. but the burden is keeping me from coming up.
The feeling of helplessness is a torture.
You know what you want... but you cannot do anything about it. It could be because you are not the decision maker or it could be because nobody believes in you or trusts you.
These are the tough times when you either get frustrated and lose your temper on someone very close to you or you learn to have some patience in life and give it some time.
I truly believe that it is very difficult for someone to guess my behavior patterns because they vary like crazy. There have been times when I have yelled at people and then there are times that I gave up on thinking about it and decided to let time a.k.a God :P handle it .
Am stuck in a similar situation today. And i really really do not know what to do.
Things have always been good for me and no matter what twists the curve of my life has taken its always been a blessing. Today also am dusting myself and standing up with the belief that its all going to be fine! Its just this phase ,of not knowing whats going to happen and if things will actually happen the way I want them to, that really bums me out :(
Hoping for the best for myself and for all the people involved !

Aam ras !

It's summer time and obviously am feeling nostalgic and missing so many things !!

When in school, on the day of our last exam we would have a class party(I miss the concept of potluck). It was so thrilling to see what food items the other kids have got for the party. The excitement of growing up and going to the next standard was amazing.I miss gobbling up so much food and looking forward to a happy summer vacation.

Summer vacations were about so many things..
Going to my grandma's place in Maharashtra... riding a bicycle in the afternoon without caring about getting tanned :P ...playing with all my cousins.. MANGOES !! yumm..

I would always go for a hair cut in the summer because i wanted to look "different" at school :D I remember getting a boy cut done once.. It felt so nice to not have to take care of my hair ! Maybe I should get one done again :P

I miss lazing around on the sofa and watching useless things on tv.I miss having plenty of time at hand to talk to my friends, to play, to do things my mom would never approve of. I miss sleeping on the roof at my grandma's place and cooking up stories in my head while gazing at the stars above.
I basically miss the plain stupidity and innocence of childhood and doing absolutely nothing !

I forgot to mention some things...
Dolly - I miss the thumping (:P) sound of your footsteps leading to my home and the non-stop laughing !
Kinni - ofcourse I remember and miss the Biryani at class party :D
Utsav,Anu and Matt - I miss the time we all spent together in the vacation after inter.. It was just brilliant !

It's all about a wedding...

I never thought that a single wedding will change so much about me,about the way i think.
I obviously cannot write down such personal stuff here :P so am going to just talk about the wedding.
It was my childhood dream to see my brother get married before me. No matter what we fought about he would always go like "you are going to be kicked out of this house soon". I cant express how happy I am. Earlier it was a wicked evil laughter but now am all smiles and happy for him.
Weddings are really such beautiful events. Its really magical how with so many things going wrong in the end everything feels right and everyone is so happy !
I dont really know much about how a marriage works out but I can tell you for sure how to have a perfect wedding :P
And wedding is not just the D-day but all the days that go into the planning of that day and all the ceremonies that happen throughout.
I never thought "I" would ever say this but am definitely looking forward to one wedding :D
For those people out there going " how lame !" or " kya?!" ... well ... i know :|
In fact i feel there will be a day when i will read this post and go like that myself :P
Anyhow...
Please feel free to call me to your weddings and i will be there right from where everything begins !

PS: Yes NOW you can LOL

Re-introducing... ME !!!

Its been so long that I have written anything......... I wanted to write something philosophical and enlightening... but I got bored myself :P (trust me i tried !)
I mean who does not know what is "right" and what is absolutely "wrong".
It's like in God's laboratory , under ideal conditions, we are all great human beings.
But when you bring us down to earth and under these changed conditions, the environment screws up our brain bad. So i say give us the adequate conditions and you shall receive the ideal behavior.
I mean you throw such crappy people around me and expect me to be a saint.. high expectations i say :P
Alright alright... am kidding...
You see its been so long that I penned down my thoughts that they have all gone haywire !
So this piece of work is supposed to be a sample and in any case cannot be used against me in the court of law :D

Brummmm Brummmm !!

Everyday I take the 6:40 PM cab from office and leave for home. I get dropped near my place at around 7:10 PM. So the travelling time is 30 minutes. Then it takes me another 15 minutes to reach home :O Not because I walk slow..( well I do but really.. am not that slow) All I have to do is cross a road with major peak hour traffic .
I somehow achieve to cross half the road and then keep standing on the median waiting for the traffic to slow down to cross the second half. Thats the point when I feel like I am going to die.. and you know what one day maybe I WILL !!

So anyway... Life was hell trying to cross these roads since the traffic is non stop and there is no traffic signal or a bridge anywhere close by.
So everyday I would risk my life and cross these roads...

Then one day.. I was stuck on the median for almost 5 minutes... and the traffic was terrible... Buses were going by with great speeds and I was getting the feeling that the wind will make me lose my balance.. It was scary ! I was wondering how I should cross the road when suddenly a Black car came to a halt right in front of me.
I looked at the driver.. He was an old man.. He looked at me and waved at me signalling me to cross the road.. I ran for my life.
After i crossed the road I was amazed at how thoughtful that uncle was to actually have stopped the car for me to cross the road... :)

I dont remember the model of the car or that man's face... but am sure my good wishes must have reached him.

Well next day of course was the same old story... me fighting my way out of that traffic..
And yes when i tried stopping some cars the drivers yelled at me like I was some crazy women..
Well that made me realise how kind that old man was...
Its really unbelievable how some people... driving in this crazy traffic.. bearing this pollution and all the noise... are capable of thinking about other people !

And yes... My journey through the cars still continues !!

Before i see the light....

There are so many things i always wanted to do. But either i don't have time for them or i just tend to forget that i ever wanted to do those things :(
So I thought why not make a list of things i want to do.. in my lifetime.. (Not before 30 or before 40... I would be more than happy if i JUST DID IT !!... But again the question arises that am i sure i will live so many years to do them? so why not do them asap!!... hmmm....)
Anyway.............
Now you see my list also has sub-categories.. so if u are already bored do not read ahead because anyway this is a personal list :P
a) DANCE !!
- Join a dance academy and learn hip-hop and salsa style as a course.
- Perform on a stage to a large audience.
- Perform on one of the dance reality shows on TV :P
b) Want to get a fabulous make over done .. Want to look different but not evil!
c) Act as a side kick in a Hollywood movie... (since we are actually talking about dreams .. i mean why not?)
d) Direct a movie... (Not the same in which am a side kick)
e) Help atleast one kid achieve something beyond his/her reaches.
f) Visit atleast one country in each continent of the world.
g) Learn how to play a guitar.
h) Go on a cruise (which will not sink!)
i) Climb the Mt.Everest.
j) Meet Oprah.
k) Spend a night on the beach all by myself.
l) Be able to get back at the people who have bothered me for so many years.
m) Walk on a ramp for a fashion designer.
n) Study in an ivy league university.
o) Expose atleast one corrupt politician!! Oh God i so want to achieve this!
p) Last but not the least.. I want world peace :P

Too many things that i haven't penned down here.. But I still wonder if it's possible for me to achieve even the above written things.
When i die .. I hope am satisfied and proud of myself..
Or am going to haunt each and everyone of you people !!!!